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  “See what I mean? That’s another question.”

  “Do you dislike me, Heaven?”

  “No.”

  “Then why do I annoy you? I’m asking only for truthful answers, and I’m paying you for them, so what’s the problem?” He cocked his head slightly and waited.

  “Do you want to know the difference, Hamid? Right now if you were a brother,” she said with emphasis, “I would tell you to go to hell and it wouldn’t require any explanation. But with you we spend ten minutes debating it, and it’s annoying. Don’t ask me why, or I might be inclined to answer the way I would answer a brother.”

  Neither spoke. For a second they stared at each other. Hamid was once again looking at her twists with curiosity. Heaven ignored him. “Why did you try to take my tray from me when we met?”

  “I wanted to save you.”

  “Save me from what?” He smiled and Heaven melted. It was then she knew that tutoring Hamid was a bad idea.

  “Why were you so angry that day?”

  “Another question?” She watched as he smiled shyly. “I’ll tell you what, Hamid, forget about paying me today. Why don’t we just get the questions out of the way, get to know each other a little better. What do you say?”

  “Thank you.”

  Laughter followed Hamid’s statement. Heaven couldn’t help it. She didn’t know if it was the way he said things, or that she felt the sincerity behind his words, but he amused her and since she’d found little reason to laugh in the last year she was more than happy to have Hamid around. “What would you like to know about me?”

  “I want to know how you got your hair that way.”

  * * *

  For three weeks, Heaven had been tutoring Hamid on her off days and his. It was hard coordinating their schedules. When one was off, the other one worked. At times, she almost felt guilty taking the money he paid her. He was making her laugh, and the laughter was healing her soul.

  “Heaven, would you rub my back a little before you leave?”

  “Of course.” Heaven put down her things and walked back over to the bed. Mrs. Reed was one of the nicest patients she’d had at Rush. The woman was in the last stages of cancer, but her concern was for her family and even the staff. She rarely asked for anything.

  “Are you in pain?” Heaven asked.

  “Just a little.”

  “You should really think of taking something. There is no need for you to be in pain.” Heaven watched while the older woman smiled. Heaven knew the patient would refuse medication, same as always.

  “I have no idea how long I have left, Heaven,” the woman said quietly. “And all I can do is make memories for my family. I don’t want their last memory to be me lying here helpless. I want to talk to them, tell them I love them, how proud I am of them. I want to help them through their grief.”

  Heaven smiled, a feeling of sadness filling her before she could answer. She poured lotion in her hand and rubbed her palms together to warm the liquid. “They would understand,” she said. “They’re your family.”

  “You’re young, Heaven,” Mrs. Reed whispered and Heaven noticed a tear in the corner of her left eye.

  “I want to see my husband’s face as long as I can. I’ve loved him since I was fourteen. He’s my soul mate. Haven’t you ever been in love, Heaven?”

  Of course I have. I once thought Brandon was my soul mate, but look what happened.

  “I was in love once, but it didn’t work out.”

  “Then it wasn’t love.”

  “It was.” Heaven swallowed, not wanting to argue with the patient. She was sure she’d loved Brandon every bit as much as Mrs. Reed loved her husband. They’d been childhood sweethearts, just as Mrs. Reed and her husband had been.

  Heaven rubbed more lotion into the older woman’s skin as her mind wandered to her past with Brandon. Soul mates? If there were such a thing, they should have been it.

  They’d both known exactly what they wanted, and had spent most of their lives working toward it. Heaven had always wanted to be a nurse and Brandon had wanted to be a doctor. For a short time, Heaven had also thought of going to medical school and becoming a doctor, but decided she liked more hands-on care. Besides, she didn’t want to be the one to make the major decisions on a patient’s health. The thought of prescribing the wrong treatment terrified her. Her strength lay in her ability to empathize, to nurture, and to give hope. She was born to be a nurse. So she and Brandon had mapped it out. He would be a doctor and she would be his nurse. They would pool their money and open a practice. They would marry and have babies and eventually Heaven would become a nurse practitioner, more than a nurse, but less than a doctor. That suited her.

  But a little over a year ago Brandon had changed all of that. They finally had the money saved to buy the practice of an older doctor in Oak Park who was ready to retire. Out of the blue Brandon had come to her and told her that he didn’t want her to go into business with him, that he was doing it alone. She could remember the look on his face when he’d dropped the next bombshell: He no longer loved her and he wanted to break up.

  Heaven hadn’t begged or asked why, but when she’d seen his new office nurse when she’d gone to take him a plant as a show of friendship, she’d known immediately that the woman was the reason he’d left her.

  “Heaven, you’re rubbing a little too hard.”

  “I’m sorry,” Heaven muttered and stopped. She’d forgotten where she was and what she was doing. For over a year hating Brandon had interfered too often with her life.

  Heaven gave the woman a sip of water, checked her IV, and asked if there was anything else she could get for her.

  In less than a minute the next private duty nurse was there and Heaven could leave. All this talk of love with Mrs. Reed was getting to her.

  “Goodbye, Heaven.”

  Heaven stopped. The woman had only said goodbye, but there was something in the way she’d said it. For a moment the two women stared at each other. Heaven knew the woman meant the words. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Heaven replied softly. This time Mrs. Reed only smiled.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Heaven repeated.

  “Heaven, you’ve been wonderful to me. Thank you. Don’t worry, one day you will know the kind of love I mean, and any thoughts of old love will seem like a joke. My husband was not the first man I thought I loved, but he was the one that God made for me. We’ve fought together for sixty years, and that will be what I know he will miss the most. It’s what I would miss.”

  “Fighting.” Heaven paused, her eyes blinking rapidly. “I’ve never seen you or your husband say a harsh word to each other.”

  “Honey, I’m dying.”

  Heaven looked away.

  “It’s okay. Well, not okay,” Mrs. Reed laughed, “but there isn’t anything either of us can do about it, now is there? We still fight. I tell him I’m going to die and he stubbornly tells me I’m not. It’s always been that way with us. He says black, I say white, I say I love him, he says he loves me more.”

  Heaven looked at the light shining in the woman’s dimming eyes. “How did you ever get past the fighting?”

  “As much as we fought, we loved a hundred times stronger. We have never had a dull moment.”

  Heaven gave the woman’s hand a squeeze. She wanted to give her hope, tell her that she would definitely see her the next day. Heaven wanted to make her a promise but it wasn’t a promise that she could control. She leaned down, kissed the woman’s cheek, and caught the look that passed across the relief nurse’s face.

  “I’m sure you and your husband will always be together.” That was the closest Heaven came to acknowledging that the woman’s goodbye might be her last.

  Fifteen hours later the registry called and confirmed that Mrs. Reed was gone. Heaven took herself off call. For some reason she needed a couple of days.

  * * *

  “He’s dead. Call it.”

  Hamid looked at the clock. He hated this part of being
a doctor. He believed that there was another life after this one, but many didn’t, and he’d found that it didn’t much make any difference. The family left behind were always sad and it was never easy to tell them the patient had died.

  Hamid had no choice. He was an intern. It was his job. He walked slowly to the family waiting room. “Mrs. Stone.”

  “I know,” the woman said and stood.

  Hamid blinked and stared, wondering how she knew.

  “He’s my husband, has been for over thirty years. Do you think I would need you to tell me that his soul had departed his body?” She put her hand over her heart. “I felt it here.”

  Hamid watched as tears slid down the woman’s face.

  “Don’t worry, Doctor, I’m fine, but a part of me died a few minutes ago.”

  The woman eyes suddenly rolled to the back of her head. Her body sagged and Hamid caught her in his arms and lowered her to the small couch behind her. He had to be strong, not cry, as he wanted to do. His instructors had once told him he was too soft to be a doctor, that he was better suited to be a nurse.

  Hamid called for a nurse to minister to the family. He thought of Heaven, wondering if she was soft. He’d never seen it, perhaps a glimpse when she smiled, but mostly they fought. He was relieved when the nurse touched his arm; he was grateful to have her there. The patient’s wife sat up and apologized.

  “Don’t,” Hamid said. “There is no need. Would you like to see your husband?”

  “Yes.”

  “Give the nurses ten minutes to clean him up and you can go in.” He glanced at the nurse standing to his side. “Becky will go in with you.” He turned toward Becky. “Are you able to remain with them until they can go in?”

  “Sure, Doctor.” The nurse answered.

  Hamid watched as the nurse’s arms wrapped around the grieving widow’s shoulder. Hamid turned away, licking his lips. “I’m sorry,” he said and walked away.

  He wanted to talk to Heaven, to fight with her, to have her help him forget the sadness of this moment. But he would not tell her that. He already appeared weak enough in her eyes; he would not admit to another flaw.

  * * *

  An hour later Hamid was heading home. He pulled his cell out and dialed Heaven, wondering if she would see him.

  “I know we don’t have an appointment for today, but if you’re not busy I would appreciate it if we could talk. Are you free?”

  “I am but I was thinking about…”

  “What?”

  “Well, I was thinking about calling a friend and going to dinner.”

  “We could go together; we’re friends, sort of.” Hamid laughed. “If you’re ready I’ll pick you up. I want you to try kabouli. Stop frowning,” Hamid teased, knowing that on the other end of the phone Heaven was frowning. This was what he needed. An hour or two of fighting with Heaven and the darkness would go away. He could barely wait to see her.

  * * *

  “Come on, Heaven,” Hamid said, reaching for her hand and urging her forward. She was looking with longing at Nancy’s Pizza a couple of doors down. “I promise you the meal will be a treat for you.”

  “I don’t like spicy food.”

  Hamid stopped in the middle of the parking lot and glanced over at Heaven. “I’ve seen you use hot pepper and Tabasco sauce. You like spicy food.”

  “I don’t like the spices that you use in your food, okay? It doesn’t taste like hot sauce.”

  “What does it taste like?”

  “Not good,” Heaven answered, and Hamid laughed.

  “Maybe it’s an acquired taste, Heaven. Some things are.” He held her hand and swallowed down his desire. Heaven was off limits; at least this tiny woman with the name of paradise was off limits. It would be much easier to enter the gates of paradise, he was sure, than to enter the private sanctum of this woman.

  When they were seated and looking at the menu, Hamid started to order for them but one look at Heaven and he knew she was spoiling for a fight if he did. He wanted to spar with her but not over that.

  “Heaven, would you like me to order?” She grinned, and his heart lurched in his chest. He tried to tamp the feelings down. They had a business arrangement that had developed into a suspicious friendship. For them there would be no more. As much as Heaven didn’t want the drama involved with dating him, he didn’t really want the drama involved with trying to change her.

  He would do as he’d said from the beginning and save her, but that would be the extent of it. When he finished his education and got his American license, he would call his family in Pakistan and have them pick the proper bride for him, one who believed in the same things that he did, one who he would not have to convert.

  He glanced at Heaven, who was eyeing him with curiosity, and grinned at her. No one in his or her right mind would ever consider converting her. She was much too volatile to make a good Muslim wife.

  With Heaven’s consent, he ordered for both of them. In a very short time the meal arrived, and Hamid reached for Heaven’s plate to fill it. She pushed his hand away, took the serving spoon, and filled her own. When he held his plate up, she looked at him and promptly ignored him.

  “Heaven, you’re rude.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You don’t care?”

  “Evidently not.”

  “I was willing to fill your plate.”

  “I didn’t need you to.”

  “That’s not the point,” Hamid continued with obvious frustration. “If I could do it for you, why couldn’t you do it for me?”

  “I didn’t want to.” Heaven cut into her chicken and took a taste, waiting for the spices to burn her tongue, but all she tasted was juicy chicken. There were some spices but they weren’t hot. Heaven helped herself to a second piece of chicken and more rice, ignoring Hamid watching her while he barely ate.

  Her skin felt hot and she wanted to scream for him to stop looking at her. She was aware he was trying to hide something from her and had a good idea what it was. At least she thought she did. She wouldn’t deny that she felt a charge every time Hamid looked at her or smiled, or ran his tongue lightly across his lips. His nutmeg complexion and curly black hair were more than enough to make any woman’s heart flutter and feed her fantasy. She was no different, but she was different about falling for a man simply because he was beyond gorgeous, which Hamid was.

  Hamid was watching her eat with his own plate almost empty, Hamid’s eyes begged silently for Heaven to put food on it. But she wouldn’t. She and Hamid had a business arrangement. She was positive he had more than enough women who would fawn over him and do his bidding. She glanced at him. He would be the type to have a harem. Heaven wanted no part in anything like that.

  “Heaven, would you mind giving me a little rice? The spoon is on your side of the dish,” Hamid said.

  Heaven glanced at the spoon. Not catering to Hamid was one thing, but this, how could she refuse? She put a large amount of rice on the spoon, surprised when her hand shook, more surprised when Hamid placed his hand on hers.

  “Thanks,” he said softly as she spooned the rice on his plate. For once neither of them could think of a single reason to fight. It felt strange, unfamiliar.

  Heaven tore off a piece of pita bread and dipped it in the olive oil. She wanted Hamid to stop looking at her the way he was. Heat shimmered between them and she didn’t want it to. It would only lead to hurt and pain and Heaven had no plans to be hurt again.

  Hamid wanted to make himself stop looking at Heaven, stop wanting her to be more than a friend, more than his teacher. But she was the missing ingredient in his life, the spark.

  He swallowed and looked down at the rice Heaven had heaped on his plate. He wondered who’d hurt her. He’d seen a glimpse of it in her eyes; he’d also seen something other than the fighting woman he was used to. He wondered if it were Brandon, and immediately felt an instant dislike for the man, for any man who’d hurt her.

  Stop it, there is no use to go down tha
t road, he chided himself silently. Pursing a relationship with Heaven would be painful at best. He dipped his fork into the rice. Look how hard it had been for her even to do that courtesy. He couldn’t imagine Heaven living in Pakistan or wearing a sari, and Hamid’s plans were to return home. No, Heaven would never make a proper wife. Her instincts were right; they should stay friends only.

  His heart seized and heat flamed through his body and touched his soul. Now if he could teach his body and heart to stop wanting her, everything would be as it should be. He blinked. He should stop looking at her; that would be a start. Then she tilted her head, brought her face up and looked him squarely in the eye and thoughts of turning away were forgotten. It had never happened to Hamid before, but he knew it for what it was: he was falling for her big time. He smiled at her and she smiled back, and he knew. Heaven was falling for him despite all of her words to the contrary.

  The server brought over their check and broke the spell. He watched Heaven’s hand shake as she took a sip of water and reached for her purse.

  “Heaven, I invited you, remember?”

  “This isn’t a date, Hamid. I’ll pay my share.”

  “Not today,” Hamid said stubbornly and handed over his charge card to the waitress. “Why are you so stubborn?” He turned to Heaven. “It’s only a meal.”

  He knew why she was behaving as she was. She wanted no strings, and then again, neither did he. “Next time you pay, Heaven. Is that a deal?”

  “Sure. Do I get to pick out the restaurant?”

  He looked suspiciously at her. “I don’t know if I trust you in that.”

  “I trusted you.”

  “Just barely. Besides, I brought you to a restaurant that served food that would be good for your body.”

  “And you don’t think I would do the same?”

  “Would you?”

  “Hamid, I respect your culture even if I could never follow it.”

  “There is a difference between could and would, Heaven. You could, the question is, would you?”

  “I have no plans on changing, Hamid.” She looked directly at him. “I will continue to eat ham, bacon, ribs, and whatever else I want. I will wear what I want, drink what I want, and worship in the manner I’ve always done.”